A Joke For Today

I need to get those pills for my wife as well as a hearing aid.

 

Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold?

The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees

what did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?

“Make me one with everything.”

 

1. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
2. 1. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
   2. 1. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

 

I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

But if anything, it made him more sluggish.

 

In school the teacher gives her students an assignment to bring someone from their family that does good impressions of animals.

So Peter asks if he can bring his grandfather to class.

- Sure Peter, what animal can he do? - She asks.
- He can do a great impression of a lone wild wolf. - Peter tells her.

Standing in front of the class the old man looks at his audience and the teacher.

- Peter tells us that you can doo a good impression of a wolf. Would you demonstrate it for us please?
- What is the matter with you young lady, what nonsense are you and my grandson talking about? - Frustrated the old man says to the teacher.

The teacher looks at Peter surprised.

- You didn't ask him right. - Peter tells her and turns to his grandfather.

- Gramps, when was the last time that you had sex?

The old man rolls his eyes up to the ceiling and lets out a howl.

-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

 

Yes it is. I love it!