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A Joke For Today

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jamie jackson, Jan 17, 2015.

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  1. Mama_Lova

    Mama_Lova *L O V E°

  2. Mama_Lova

    Mama_Lova *L O V E°

  3. Mama_Lova

    Mama_Lova *L O V E°

  4. donna_meghan

    donna_meghan Trusted.Member

    My [edit] granddaughter was trying
    to roast marshmallows for the first time.

    Her first two attempts ended in flames. Both

    times, I took the scorched marshmallow and
    threw it into the fire.


    The third time, I helped her a lot more and,
    together, we achieved a toasty, golden brown
    marshmallow.

    Once it was cool, I handed her the marshmallow,
    which she promptly threw into the fire.

    No one ever told her she was supposed to eat it!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2022
    Mk2693, Djole, Rubber duck 2 and 3 others like this.
  5. Odette

    Odette No one can convey what they do not feel

     
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  6. sue

    sue Trusted.Member

  7. Odette

    Odette No one can convey what they do not feel

  8. Mama_Lova

    Mama_Lova *L O V E°

    1. When you die, what part of the body dies last? The pupils…they dilate.
      1. Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for decades.
        1. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
     
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  9. Rubber duck 2

    Rubber duck 2 Trusted.Member

  10. reluctantjoe

    reluctantjoe Account Deleted

  11. Odette

    Odette No one can convey what they do not feel

  12. sue

    sue Trusted.Member

  13. Rubber duck 2

    Rubber duck 2 Trusted.Member

  14. Gelder

    Gelder Moderator Staff Member

    Rubber duck 2 likes this.
  15. Mama_Lova

    Mama_Lova *L O V E°

    During a job interview at the 99 Cents store, my son was asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” My son’s reply: “At the Dollar Store.” He got the job.
    Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each.
    I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. It fit perfectly, and the skirt was a swirl of intricate pleats. I wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a woman exclaimed, “Oh, how stunning!” Yes, I was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, “Hang on to it, honey. Pleats will come back someday.”
     
  16. Odette

    Odette No one can convey what they do not feel

  17. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    That was GREAT!!!! Loved it.
     
    Odette likes this.
  18. Rubber duck 2

    Rubber duck 2 Trusted.Member

  19. Downnhill

    Downnhill Trusted.Member

    A man has died, and for his suprise he went to Hell. He was received by Satan him self.

    Satan took him to the one of many doors and said to the man:

    "Behind this door is the place where you spend eternity of agony and frustration."

    The Satan opened the door and man saw very nice and spacy, well equipped bar. Most of other people in the room were beautiful women and they gazed the man with lustful looks.

    "For Hell this place doesn't look so bad" Man said to Satan, but Satan just laughed and walked away. Man walked to bartender and order cold pint. He said same thing to bartender as he said to Satan.

    "Trust me, you will very soon see why this place is Hell" answered bartender.

    "Why is that? Beer is cold and all these women seems to be stripping me with their eyes." Asked man and raised pint on his lips.

    Soon as he felt something wet to hit on his shoes bartender just said:

    "Sure, this place would be great, but you see, all the glasses has holes on them and women don't!"
     
  20. reluctantjoe

    reluctantjoe Account Deleted

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