A Joke For Today

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A couple was so delighted over the birth of their new baby boy,and it didn't take long before they were fussing over him

" Look at his cute nose, just like yours. "

" Yes, and his ears, a lot like yours. "

At one point, the husband remarked, " Look at the size of his cock , its huge ! "

" Yes, dear, " replied his wife, " but he does have your eyes. "​

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MUFF was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat 
circled to pick him up, he noticed AMY sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. MUFF put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”
AMY responded, “Don’t quack.”

 

AMY noticed MUFF standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” AMY said.
“Sure, it does,” MUFF said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

 

What does a girl in Alaska call the man of her dreams, the love of her life and the father to her kids?
Daddy!

 

You don't know how close to the truth this one is . LOL

Dad

 

lol

 

My cousin in Ohio when he was in high school in the 60's was really big and had a lot of weight had his gym coach tell him to reach down and touch his toes. His responds was to look down at them and say" Touch them, I can't even see them." He eventually lost all of the weight and became an Ohio State Trooper.

 

Bob and his 3 gay friends were enjoying his new hot tub. Suddenly globs of cum started floating to the surface, Everyone looked at each other and then Bob asked"Alright. who farted?"

 

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind a third time to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends!"

 

Watch what u unzip

 

So hilarious. ROFLMAO

 

thank you for your reply

 

thank you for your reply

 

thank you for your reply

 

thank you for your reply

 

He became Trump

 

That was Trump from New York

 

Mr. Trump has already spent more than USD 20 Million on his weekend jaunts to Florida in less than 2 months.

 

Oh. The poor Christmas tree