The Fucking Fuck Thread

With depression, there's little I find enjoyable, that I love. One of the side effects of depression is losing your passion for things. I mean actual depression, not just sadness or a one time event. It's something I deal with every single day. Some days are good. Some days aren't. Other days are just... days. As for having strength, it wears a person down when it's always trying to be strong, not only for myself, but for others as well.

Obligatory fuck.

 

I am right fucking with you, Dracoa. I have suffered from chronic depression for decades. I have finally gotten to the point where the only emotions I feel are anger and fucking fear. You have whatever good thoughts I still have beamed your way in the hope that they help.

 

I was diagnosed [edit] closing in on 30 years. Most of the time I just feel fucking nothing, which is a hell all it's own.

 

Yep you add the fucking antidepressants on top of the depression and there ain't much left to feel. But at least I am not always raging at everyone.

 

No antidepressants for me, just not a whole lot to feel unless acted up by outside forces. And even when I do feel something, it's fucking muted, like everyone around me has these bright emotions, and I just don't.

 

I take my own depression with philosophy : I take it as a given that the world will fucking self-destruct in a couple months, and that none of "it" matters anyways. So I learned to just be "zen" about those days I can't even gather the strength to get out of my bed or eat, and enjoy the days when I'm a moderately functioning individual.
Beat depression with fucking nihilism is... unusual. It works for me (sometimes)

 

Fuck. Sometimes for me getting out in the world and participating in outside activities helps. Even if those activities seem useless and trivial. I got co-opted to a holiday board that does activities/parties for the community. I don't feel the passion for the holidays others do but it does get me out of my shell.
My one passion here is the homeless in the desert. Destitute people trying to live in a camper or trailer with no water or utilities. I am taking over the delivery of water and showers to these people just so they can survive. And even though I am a godless fucking heathen I work with some of our local nondenominational churches to get the job done. That gives me some hope that there are still those that care enough to give of their time and effort to help other humans. Small recompense but it is enough to keep me going and give me some fucking hope for this world.
Plus it gets me thinking and doing for others and allows me to forget about me and my situation.

 

I usually don't like to talk about my problems because so many people have problems, why would they want to listen to mine. I'm glad that this thread is here because I really have a lot going on. I have spinal muscular atrophy. If you don't know what it is it's a neurological disease which means my brain and my spinal cord don't really communicate well. I've been in a wheelchair since XX. Because of this, my dating life is pretty much gone. At 47 I still live with my mom. I know for a site like this it's heaven. And fantasy wise it is. Unfortunately in the real world I need to be here because I can't live by myself. I can't drive anymore. I haven't driven for so long. My body is breaking down. I'm starting to lose the ability to swallow food and I can't sit for long periods of time because my hip bones are digging into my butt. Because of everything that I just stated I don't date. I miss being with a woman so much. I had often thought about offering somebody money to come here and just spend the weekend with me. Even holding a woman would be awesome. I have severe depression and anxiety. Which it looks like some people here have to. My disability and my mental problems are a vicious cycle. I try so hard to find the good, but it's so hard.

Again please forgive me for the fucking bitching.

 

Why was my fucking post-edited?

 

Because the edited would have some reference to someone under 18 years of age. Athenea's advice is very good, as long as she follows the rules she posts what she wants even if she doesn't like anyone. And another tip, you have to add the word fuck to what you write, Akbloke is very strict with that rule, but understanding. In ID you will find people who care more about knowing you as you are than just sex. Everything you say is very fucked up, but here you will find interesting people. I also follow you. Many kisses.

 

I don't like the fucking energy of Star. We fell asleep at four in the morning and at 8 in the morning she woke us up, told us that we had many activities, that we would sleep in our houses. His mother intervened and we could sleep longer. I hate the fucking energy of Star, she only needs four hours of sleep to have a whole day of non-stop activities, I hate her fucking vitality. I understand why your mother says you wear her out all the time. I hate the fucking energy of Star that never runs out.

 

I really like this fucking thread too, that's why it pisses me off that I can't complain about anything, it really pisses me off that I have no complaints. And I also miss AkblokeEx Pig-Fixer "Videmus Agamis". He was very hard and inflexible, but with a word of love he forgave everything.

 

Daroca, they are just words but words written with sincerity, sometimes words can also be a sweet and warm blanket that protects us from the outside, from a fucking situation, words can offer new ways in which we have not thought about because we have lived from inside the situation itself that can make our vision of the daily facts more limited. I don't have any experience in fucking depression, but the advice you are getting is interesting, especially from people who have felt in the person they love a fucking depression, like Athenea, although I wouldn't advise you to follow the advice to eat fucking fried spiders.

The important thing is that there are people who care about your situation even if thousands of kilometres separate us. Intense kisses and endless hugs.

 

I understand your situation and I am not completely unfamiliar with it. I have a girl friend who was born with spina bifida, has never walked, has always been in a wheelchair and has poorly developed legs, as well as other physical problems and many surgical operations, needing help for many activities of daily life that the rest of us do without paying attention. As Athenea and Odette has told you, publish what you want respecting the rules, Dream is a very big place where there is room for many people with many different styles. Not everyone will like what you write, but the important thing is to be true to yourself and if someone bothers you just ignore that fucking person. They don't deserve your time or attention. For people in a situation similar to yours, it's a different time, because the internet is like a big open window to the world, to the universe because you can meet people, places, museums, landscapes, books with the comfort of being at home. Maybe it's not a comfort, but it's a possibility. I also know another forum, but it's not about sex, in that forum they talk about religion and politics with a lot of education and respect, without offence or mockery to those who don't have the same opinion. In addition to photo contests, games, it also has many threads of literature, cinema, painting, lifestyles, people from many countries, science, animals... It is not a sex forum like Dreams, but it can be interesting to have a broader vision and be compatible. If you are interested, let me know and I'll give you the address. The option you have presented of looking for a woman in those conditions can also be motivating and make specific moments more intense. Life is just that, small moments of happiness, fleeting in reality, but eternal in memory.

Never forget that you are not alone. Intense kisses and endless hugs.