What is your opinion about relationships with a large age difference?

I’m ok with it. My celebrity crush is 30 years older than me. My BFF that I’m in love with is 12 years older and another friend I have feeling for and jerk off a lot to is 23 years older. All third I would marry if I had the chance and my top choices to want to fuck.

 

Doesn't bother me one bit as long as both are happy and consenting

 

I don't care

 

All of the real relationships (not flings) I’ve witnessed have all failed in the end.

The two people always end up at different stages in their lives. Resentment builds and poof! It’s over.

 

We disagree on this point, in my experience, the age difference is not a problem, the secret is to live each person with the activities of their own age. The secret is to live each person with the activities appropriate to their age and to have a personal and intimate meeting point where they can live their relationship as a couple and learn to differentiate and respect both spaces in the life of each part of the couple.

 

The problem I have with that theory is . . . what are "activities of their own age"? When I think of activities commonly associated with my chronological age, I think "boring, boring, boring." I'm also reminded of the words of the Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, "Do not go gentle into that good night." I'm far more interested in activities generally associated with your chronological age than mine. Maybe not perfect overlap, but more overlap than with people my chronological age.

All this comes back to what I keep saying, which is it mostly depends on the individuals involved. Each individual cuts his or her own course, and how that individual meshes, or not, with another individual cutting his or her own course, largely determines the success or failure of the relationship, either in the short or the long term.

 

That's basically the idea he wants to explain. For my mother, the ideal Saturday night is to have dinner with her friends in a fancy restaurant and then have a drink and talk about politics, crises and wars all night long. For me, the perfect Saturday night is dinner at a burger or pizza joint, and then deciding where we're going to dance the night away. If mum were to attend one of my dinners with my friends she would feel uncomfortable, if I were to attend her dinners with her friends it would be very boring for me. And these feelings, if prolonged over time, are the ones that end up destroying the relationship. That is why it is important that each part of the relationship has age-appropriate activities and then they also have their moments to live and enjoy their love with a lot of intensity. Finding that balance is the essence of a couple with an age difference. This is my personal experience in a relationship with my mother that makes us happy and enriches us as human beings every day.

 

Yes, I am of the same opinion, also because we are a couple, dad and I and we live like that too. Completely agree.

 

That, of course, is your own experience. In no way am I saying that is wrong for you and your mother. But that is the exact point I've been trying to make throughout this thread, which is that there is no hard and fast rule that applies to everyone, and every person, every relationship, is unique. I have nothing against having dinner with friends in a fancy restaurant (though I can't remember the last time I've been to a fancy restaurant), and having a Saturday night at a burger or pizza joint sounds like a lot more fun to me. When I pick my friends (to the extent one actually "picks" one's friends), I don't look at their age. My friends can cover everything from much younger than me, to my age, to older than me. Again, it is the person that attracts, interests, or meshes with me, not their age. I'm sure not everyone has my view, or my ability to have friends across a spectrum of ages, types, and interests -- this has been my particular fate or talent or curse, as one cares to see it, since high school, and probably before high school. To reiterate it, all generalizations are false, including this one.

 

Its weird tho

 

Well fellas as the saying goes things do get better with age. If it goes beyond a curiosity satisfaction from a carnal standpoint by that I mean feelings or love then it most certainly can work. I've seen several age gap couples that are still together and going strong because each side brings something to the table that the other cannot. Be it financial stability, solid foundation, or even just the feeling of being young again. Who is anyone to judge that from the outside looking in? The one thing that I would say is constant among those couples is the eventual feeling of loss the younger person has to endure when the older one does pass on. This is an unfortunate fact of these relationships.

 

I don't mind. I think it can be really good if there is a age differnece. As long as people are compatible it doesn't matter.

 

It really depends on their specific situation of course, but as long as everyone is of age and sound mind to know what they're getting into then I see no issues with any age gap.

 

I think that the attitude of the couple is more important than age.

 

Yes, when I speak of experience I can only refer to personal experience, and even more so in a subject as secret as a non-regular relationship, never differentiate between normal and non-normal, because that differentiation already implies good and evil, as today's society understands these concepts.

Obviously, there are no generalised rules that can be applied to all relationships, since in each one of them the personalities of its members, as well as the personal circumstances condition the relationships, such as age, for example. If we could find such generalised rules that would ensure the happiness of a couple regardless of any random circumstance, we would have the secret of happiness in our hands and lawyers would no longer have to deal with divorces.

However, there are some rules to be fulfilled, such as the rest of the couple, the interest in their desires or never being an obstacle to their personal and professional growth. Once these conditions have been met, each couple must find their point of balance as a couple where they know when to win and when to give in, without forgetting that when you give in you are not really losing, but that your victory, even if it is not personal, is the happiness of your partner.

In the specific issue of the age difference, if at the same time we add having a non-regular relationship with a relative, the conditioning factors are much greater, but like any other couple, you need your spaces of independence and intimacy, spaces of distance between people with an attitude that everyone accepts and where the consolation is the memory of the passion lived in the intimacy of the home and the future moment when you return home to be able to live the intimacy of a sincere and pure love, but not accepted by society.

I have also been to fancy restaurants with mom , where the food is excellent, but the atmosphere is very boring, everything is too slow. And mom has come with me to burger joints and fast food pizzerias, where she has enjoyed my company more than the food. We respect our spaces and occasionally share them, but mom understands that at my age I'm bored by fancy restaurants and I understand that at mom's age I'm not comfortable in a fast food restaurant. Our point of connection, what keeps us in a permanent union is only our love and that love makes you understand the needs of the other person and, most importantly, that it is not necessary to be holding hands all day long, it is not necessary to be together all day long sharing the same interests and the same space.

I think that distance is what makes it possible not only to enjoy each other's age, but to feel that passion that you want to express to the woman you love at the right time.

An inexcusable condition that must exist in every couple, in my opinion, is happiness and happiness is expressed in many ways, for example, with laughter. Having jokes with your partner, laughing mom and I together, that complicity with words in a double sense, is very important.

As long as the two parts of a couple laugh together they will be happy and if they are happy they will always be together, even at a distance and regardless of age.

 

Thank you for your long explanation about your relationship with your mom and how you're able to keep it fresh and happy.

That last sentence I think really sums it up well for any kind of relationship, not just an incestuous one. After all, if one isn't happy in one's relationship, what's the point?

I still take much of the other things you say as individual to you. Nothing wrong at all with that, and I'm sure many others share those views and that way of conducting oneself. I've never been in an incestuous relationship (alas) so can't comment from that perspective. But I have been in many relationships, a fair share of which were age-gap relationships, and I do think the more one can appreciate the other person's status and interests in life the closer they will be. Not everything some young people are into interests me, but that would be equally the case if someone my own age were into them (maybe even less, in fact). I wouldn't expect a younger partner be into everything I'm into -- but again, that might apply to someone my own age, too. We're all individuals with our own interests, tastes, experiences, and so forth. That's all I'm trying to say.

Glad you've found such equilibrium with your mom.

 

Evidently if you are in a relationship it is not to be happy, but to be MORE happy.

This is a topic we discussed with my friends at a dinner party. Some of my friends held the position that you are happy when you have a partner, but I am opposed to that idea. Because if your partner is all your happiness, it means that if you lose that partner then you will be in sadness. And that's not love, that's dependence. The most extreme point of this approach could be when a man thinks that his partner is everything in his life and, when that relationship ends, he feels empty and lonely, he cannot give up that woman and even goes as far as murder with the idea that "that woman is for me or for no one". Sadly, there are many such cases of battering and murder of women.

My more concrete position, which not everyone understands or shares, is that I have been happy, very happy, before being in a relationship. For example, we could say that I have been 60% happy and my relationship with mom makes me 100% happy, that is, mom is 40% of my happiness, but she is not 100% of my happiness. But my life before I became mom's partner has been very happy, I haven't spent my years crying and sad, locked in a room refusing to enjoy the sun and the sea and friends. I have enjoyed life in a different way and now I enjoy life with mom. Not everyone understands this situation, because they prefer to think that they are 100% of their partner's happiness, but that is absurd.

So it is not a question of whether your partner makes you happy, because you must already be happy before you have a partner. Rather, the question is whether your partner makes you MORE happy. If that added happiness is achieved, then the partner has a future. On the other hand, if that partner does not make you happier and even decreases your degree of happiness, then it is better to leave that partner. Obviously everything I have said goes both ways, not only mom should make me happier, but I should make mom happier as well.

When I said that mom and I have found that point of balance, between respect for the things we share and moments of independence for the interests of each age group, I was referring to those points in particular. In other words, mom and I have kept our initial happiness from before we started our relationship and we also have our moments as a couple to increase that happiness.

In my opinion, it is not that this balance is important, it is essential, it is necessary, it is indispensable that it exists in any couple of any kind, regardless of their age.

I fully agree with you that each couple is a universe different from the others, but I also think that there are some basic conditions that should exist in any couple such as respect, connection, happiness, laughter, the desire to evolve as a human being, support in work, mutual support and also intimacy, a couple should have a healthy and wholesome sex life. Sex is another way of expressing the love you feel, the interest in knowing what your partner likes in sex and when he or she likes you to do something specific. Sexual connection in a couple is essential, even if one of the partners, the older one, always complains that he or she ends up completely exhausted.

 

I agree that happiness begins within each of us and does not depend on a relationship to exist. Someone who is unhappy outside a relationship is, I think, likely to carry that unhappiness into the relationship. Within a relationship one hopes to contribute to the happiness of one's partner but is not, and cannot, be responsible for a partner's happiness. That arises from within each person.

 

Older women and younger men has always been super hot in my opinion.