Regrets, what are yours?

I regret and will always regret a time when I was very rebellious and living with me was a never-ending hell. Everything was a continuous confrontation with mom and a rejection of her advice. But the high point of my stupid rebelliousness was when I accused mom of not having a father, going so far as to tell her that it was her fault that this man didn't live at home and that it was mom who had robbed me of my right to have a father. Mom forgetting her pride and dignity for me, began an investigation among friends until she found this man, who had recently ended a relationship and believed he would suddenly have a family. I was with this man for three weekends and one would have been enough if my pride had not prevented me from recognising my mistake. To tell the truth, his behaviour was always exquisite, polite and respectful, asking about my studies, friends, music and life projects. But inside me I felt that everything was very artificial, there was no naturalness or spontaneity, but rather like a programmed script, that he was just a man who had had a sentimental relationship with mom but who I didn't feel was my father. Whenever I went out with him we always ate pizzas and hamburgers, he must have thought that girls my age only ate like that, when mom had brought me up to eat everything, even fish and vegetables, which at that time I hated with all my being. On the third weekend I spoke to mom and told her that I recognised my mistake and that I didn't want to go on with that man and my relationship with him ended at that point. Since then he always calls me at Christmas and on my birthday to congratulate me. I understand why he calls me at Christmas because everyone congratulates everyone for the holidays. But I don't understand why he calls me on my birthday to congratulate me when he wished mom had had an abortion and I had never been born. I don't get it.

Sometimes I think men are very strange in their reasoning, very confused and anarchic.

I will never call him father, he is just the man who got mom pregnant. I have talked to mom about this and she always shows me her understanding and support, her forgetfulness of that stage of my life, even with some funny joke to make me feel better about those memories, but to me, when the memories pop into my mind as unexpected images, it still hurts me to my soul to have treated mom in that way. Mom has forgiven and forgotten me, but I cannot forget the contempt and insolence of my behaviour towards her.

 

No, not yet. They live far away making it more challenging.

 

Wishing i had got into incest sooner than i did

 

I regret being a shithead when I was younger. We were very poor in rural WV (all of WV is rural). I wished I had done more to help rather than be a pain in the ass -. My mother struggled after my father left us. We never saw him again. Those times were rough. My mom worked two and three jobs to provide for us -. I know many days she didn’t eat so there was enough food -. I didn’t appreciate it at the time. Despite being being poor I was an arrogant asshole with a chip on my shoulder. Later I apologized to my mom and thanked her for all of her sacrifice.

 

It’s good that you were able to recognize her efforts and tell her. Many realize it once their parents are dead and gone.

 

It is a very beautiful and heroic act that you have done and your mother appreciates it in all its fullness. We can never imagine all the acts of sacrifice of a mother for her children. The best gift you can give her will always be your kisses and hugs, as well as being a good person. It is how your mother will feel that all her sacrifice has had a beautiful motive and a result to be proud of.