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A Joke For Today

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jamie jackson, Jan 17, 2015.

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  1. slisse

    slisse Moderator Staff Member

    An elderly couple had been shopping at a grocery store, and the wife decided to steal a can of peaches. The inevitable happened and she was caught. Upon her court date, the judge asked her what she had stolen.

    "Your Honor, I stole a can of peaches."

    The judge replied, "How many peaches were in the can?"

    She said, "Six."

    The judge then said, "I will sentence you to six days in jail."

    Her husband stood up behind her and replied, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."
     
    Mama_Lova and oldman681 like this.
  2. Gelder

    Gelder Moderator Staff Member


    :p
     
  3. Rubber duck 2

    Rubber duck 2 Trusted.Member

  4. Gelder

    Gelder Moderator Staff Member

    Rubber duck 2 likes this.
  5. MilaHot

    MilaHot Québécoise Extraordinaire

    Why can't you email a photo to a Jedi?
    Because attachments are forbiden
     
    Rubber duck 2 and oldman681 like this.
  6. Neophyte

    Neophyte Moderator Staff Member

    Pet Fish
    A woman is walking on a beach in Texas carrying two Redfish in a bucket. A game warden walks up and asks to see her fishing license.

    “I don’t have a fishing license,” says the woman.

    “You know it’s illegal to fish without a license, right?” asks the warden.

    “I wasn’t fishing, officer. These Redfish are my pets.”

    “Your pets?”

    “Yes, officer. They like a little exercise, so when the weather’s fine, I take them to the water and let them swim around. Once they’re done, I give them a whistle and they jump back into my bucket and we head home.”

    The officer isn’t buying a word of it, so the woman says, “Don’t believe me? Watch!” and she throws the fish into the sea.

    The warden waits for a minute then says, “Alright, now whistle to your fish and make them jump out of the water.”

    The fisherwoman turns to the officer and says, “What fish?”
     
  7. Mama_Lova

    Mama_Lova *L O V E°

    Did you know shower heads are bisexual
    Every naked person they see turns them on

    What do you call it when a bisexual person shoots down flirtations from both men and women?
    A double bi-pass!

    What does a chemist say when he comes out of the closet for being bisexual?
    Iodine, Americium, Bismuth.

    my sister keeps on flipping between being bisexual and gay
    it's almost like she can't think straight!
     
    Rubber duck 2 and oldman681 like this.
  8. chip85

    chip85 Trusted Member

  9. kess

    kess New Member

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