A Joke For Today

I realy like these jokes can't wait to read more!

 

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This picture reminded me of an old joke:

A married couple go out of town to visit the in-laws for a while.
The first night of their visit the husband goes out and leaves his wife at home with his parents. Since she is new to the town, she has no one that she can visit or go out with so she stayed home.
The husband comes home early in the morning sloshed and singing loudly waking up the whole house.

The next evening the same thing happens, and the next, and the next.

When he sobered up she confronts him:
"I've been sitting here with your parents every night of our visit! Think about me, MY needs!" She yells at him.

As he's preparing to go out again, he gives her a kiss and smiling tells her:
"Honey, this is my turf and when I'm on my turf, frankly, you are the last hole on the flute!"

The wife was very angry, but their visit came to an end and they returned home.

A few months later they go for a visit to her parents.

Now when the evening came, the wife was out to the small hours of the night; night after night.
Horny and bored the husband confronts his wife about her attitude towards him in her home town where he doesn't know anyone and she tells him:

"Honey, this is my turf and when I'm on my turf, frankly, you are the last flute on the hole!"



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I was walking down the sidewalk downtown the other day and I came upon two guys wearing
the same outfit.
So I asked, " Are you two guys gay lovers?"

Next thing I know, I was in handcuffs......

 

Two men hiked in the forest. They stumbled on forest spirit that had been caught in bear trap. The men freed the spirit and spirit in it's gratitude grants three wishes to both men.

First guy immediately wishes extremely beautiful girlfriend.

Second guy thinks a moment and then wishes big back-bag full of money.

First guy wishes another extremely beautiful girlfriend.

Second guy wishes top of a model motorcycle.

First guys last wish is... Third extremely beautiful girlfriend.

Then second guy throws money filled back-bag on his back, jumps to motorcycle, starts it and while driving away yells:

"My last wish is that first guy wont get erections ever again!"

 

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OOOUUUCCCHHH!!!