A Joke For Today

Not even when riding "cowgirl" or "reverse cowgirl"?

 

Two Southern Belles are sittin’ on the veranda,


when one points at the big shiny car in the driveway, and says, “my Daddy bought me that brand-new Cadillac”.

The other nods, sips her julep, and says, “how nice”.

They rock back and forth on the porch swing a moment, and the first deb speaks up again, lifting her pretty little wrist, adorned with glittery bling, says “see this here diamond tennis bracelet? My Daddy got it for me for my birthday”.

The other one fans herself delicately with her hankie, and says, “how nice”.

The first girl says, “my Daddy sent me to Europe after Graduation”.

The second Betty crosses her shapely ankles and says, “how nice”.

The first Belle asks the second, “doesn’t your Daddy buy you pretty things and send you on nice trips”?

“Well, he sent me to finishing school”.

“What did you learn at finishing school”?

“I learned how to say, “how nice”, instead of “fuck you, bitch””.

 

A woman goes to prison to visit her husband who has just been sentenced to 40 years in jail.

As soon as she enters the visiting room, she hugs him and exclaims with tears in her eyes: - "Oh! Roger, 40 years, Roger.?"

And the husband replies:

"Well, my love, what are you going to do?"

"Oh, Roger ...! I spoke to the judge handling your case,"

"And what did he say, my love?"

"He told me that for every time I make love with him, he will reduce your prison sentence by one year ..."

"What !!! What a miserable bastard and what did you say to that son of a bitch? "

" Oh, Roger! We'll talk about it at home, pick up your stuff, let's go… !!! "

 

Don't you just hate when you're busy with an important text with your mistress and you are so rudely
interrupted by some stupid jogger bouncing off your windshield?

 

A man hits the million dollar lottery and rushes home to his wife. “Charlene, I won the lottery, pack your bags!”

Excited by the news she squeals, “Oh my! Should I pack for the mountains? Maybe the beach? Paris?”

He says, “I don’t really care, just pack your bags and get the hell out of my house.”

 

That's ok! We know you have a dark side of humor too! No need to try to hide it. We know you all too well,